When you hear the
word “psychopath”, you might think of Hannibal Lecter or Ted Bundy, but most
psychopaths are actually non-violent and non-incarcerated members of society.
In fact, there’s a good chance they’ll seem exceptionally altruistic and
innocent to the average onlooker.
As described in
the Psychopath Free book, psychopaths are first and foremost social predators.
With no conscience, they’re able to use charm and manipulation to get what they
want from others—whether it be families, friendships, relationships, cults, the
workplace, or even politics. The bottom line is, they modify their
personalities to become exactly the person they think you want them to be. And
they’re good at it.
But when they no
longer need anything from you, that’s when the crazy-making behavior begins.
Here are some
common phrases you’ll hear from a psychopath who’s trying to make you doubt
your sanity:
01: “You
over-analyze everything.”
Of course there
are people who DO read too much into situations. The difference with
psychopaths is that you’ll always discover you were correct in retrospect. They
intentionally do things to make you feel on-edge or paranoid, like flirt with a
once-denounced ex over social media for the whole world to see. When you
question them, they accuse you of over-analyzing the situation. But then a
month later, you discover they were actually cheating with that person.
Psychopaths want you to doubt your intuition by making you feel like a crazy
detective, constantly planting hints to make you feel anxious and then blaming
you for having that anxiety.
02: “I hate drama.”
And yet, you’ll
soon come to discover there’s more drama surrounding them than anyone you’ve
ever known. Psychopaths will first idealize you above everyone else, praising
you for your perfect easy-going nature. But because they are perpetually bored,
this never lasts long. They are pathological liars, serial cheaters, and
eternal victims. Before long, these qualities inevitably start to surface and
cause you overwhelming confusion. Any time you mention your concerns or
frustration, they’ll declare their hatred of drama and make you feel bad for
reacting to their horrible behavior (instead of addressing the behavior
itself).
03: “You’re so
sensitive.”
Psychopaths
manufacture emotions in others—it’s what they do. After once showering you with
24/7 praise and flattery, they’ll ignore you for days on end and wait for you
to react. When you finally do, they’ll accuse you of being sensitive or needy.
They’ll insult, belittle, and criticize you (usually in a teasing/joking
demeanor), pushing your boundaries until you finally speak up. Then they use
your manufactured reactions to make you seem crazy. Within weeks, psychopaths
can turn an exceptionally easy-going person into an unrecognizable mess of
insecurities and self-doubt.
04: “You
misunderstood me.”
Sure, healthy
couples have misunderstandings and miscommunications all the time. But with
psychopaths, they’ll intentionally say things they know will provoke you. Then
when you react, they’ll turn it around on you and blame you for
misunderstanding. Oftentimes, they’ll even deny that they ever said it. This is
called gaslighting—blatantly doing or saying something, and then blaming you
for misinterpreting it (or denying that it even took place). The fact is, you
understood what they said perfectly fine. They’re just trying to make you doubt
your sanity.
05: “You’re crazy /
bipolar / jealous / bitter / in love with me.”
The name-calling
usually starts when things are going downhill fast. According to a psychopath,
all of their ex lovers, colleagues, and friends are crazy, bipolar, jealous,
bitter, or in love with them. This becomes very confusing when they start
reaching out to those very same people they once denounced to you, using them
to triangulate and cause chaos (making the psychopath appear in high-demand at
all times). Then they toss you in that
very same “crazy” bucket, continuing their never-ending cycle of idealizing and
devaluing anyone unfortunate enough to cross their path.
The only way out is to go No Contact.
This means no texts, calls, emails, or even Facebook friendships. Otherwise you
can be guaranteed that they’ll do anything and everything in their power to
make you feel crazy. The good news is, when a psychopath tries to make you
doubt your intuition, it means your intuition was causing them trouble.
Psychopaths seek to psychologically destroy anyone who might threaten their
illusion of normalcy to the world. So when they begin playing mind games with
you, it’s actually a strange indirect tribute to your ability to notice that
something was “off” about them.
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