You’re never going to escape rudeness.
To make matters worse, it often comes from people you’d least expect to put you
down.
When faced with rudeness, there can be
a great deal of temptation to snap back with something similarly hurtful. But
when you do that, you’ve lost the battle and open up the floor for some real
relationship-damaging retorts.
THERE IS ALWAYS AN OPPORTUNITY TO STAND
UP FOR YOURSELF WHILE REMAINING POSITIVE AND IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION.
HERE ARE 5 PHRASES YOU CAN RESPOND TO
RUDENESS WITH TO DO JUST THAT.
#1 – Thanks!
Often, when someone is being rude,
they’re trying to elicit some sort of reaction from you.
A good way to get around this is to simply
say ‘thanks!’ and continue on your way. By doing that, you acknowledge the
person’s comment but make it clear that they are not affecting you.
It can be tough when you’re blindsided
by someone’s rude remarks but with practice, you’ll find yourself getting
better and better at staying in control of tense situations.
#2 – What do you expect me to say to
that?
This is an easy way to turn the tables
and relieve the pressure to react.
This question forces the other person
to think about what they’ve just said and why they’ve said it. Do they expect
you to get angry? To be embarrassed?
It’s likely they won’t be entirely sure
how to respond – this is a good chance to turn the conversation into a mature
discussion about the subject of their remark.
#3 – What makes you say that?
This question allows you to validate
the other person’s feelings or opinions while making it clear that you’re not
just going to accept them as your own.
It does this by displaying empathy to
the rude person – something rather unexpected.
Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe
you unintentionally did something to hurt them earlier that has them on the
offensive. You never know until you ask.
If they’re unable to provide a
reasonable answer, take that as a sign that their hostility has more to do with
them than it does you.
#4 – Why are you always so negative?
If you constantly find yourself fending
off rudeness from this person, here’s a great way to make it clear that the
issue lies with them.
Often, a rude person is trying to make
their ‘victim’ think they’re the ones with all the problems when really,
rudeness is more of a reflection of their self-directed attitudes.
Put the focus back on them and nudge
them towards confronting their own hostility.
#5 – We’ll talk tomorrow.
There’s no shame in having a strong
emotional reaction to someone’s rudeness. The shame comes from allowing those
emotions to overpower you to the point where you say or do something you regret.
If your desire to snap back with
something equally hurtful is too strong, maybe the best course of action is to
take a step back.
In addition to preventing an angry
outburst on your part, it also forces the other person to think about what
they’ve just said in silence. They want a reaction but all they’ll get is a
mirror of sorts.
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